April the 7th, 2024

Dirty

Cars passing by
Sonic Youth's music on
Certain aloneness and relentlessness on a Sunday morning
Bliss fulfilment
Tones of pictures waiting to be painted
Your life and my life, they don't touch at all
I know it's right

October the 25th, 2023

Unexpected Journey

He agreed to accept twenty euros from my pocket for a seat in the car he had rented to get there and back.
I thought he would be more considerate, asking me where I was going and trying to drop me off at a convenient location. But he didn't. He didn't show any signs of wanting to do so.
As busy as he was, I decided to leave. He extended his hand from the front seat, and I reached out with the palm of my left hand from the back seat. I felt the energy flowing from his palm to mine. That was it.

February the 9th, 2023

I’m Just

I’m just a painter, I’m just someone, I’m just an artist, I’m just a woman, I’m just a thinker, an observer, an analyst, a highly sensitive person, I’m just.

I’m just saying, I’m just sharing, I’m just trying to connect, but there is no connection to be made. I’m just here, I’m just here for a while and won’t be here any longer in a while.

Would you want my just or would you rather not take it?

Is my just important to you or is it not? I’m just important and what I need to say is just important too. I’m worried, I want us to take care of us, and not the opposite, it’s just that. 

May the 14th, 2022

To Keep The Light

A dance of lights and shadows. To keep the connection with nature. To keep the awareness of my environment. To keep the beauty of the sunlight. To not want to let go of something. To keep it forever. To materialise a moment in life. To create an object out of a sensation. To capture the shapes of sunbeams and shadows of big windows in my studio. Is it a window or a door? Where does it go? To not forget where I come from. To not forget the light of where I come from. To keep it. To keep the light.

October the 21st, 2021

El Hombre Simple 

Ahí está tu furgoneta, tú, el hombre simple, sin complicaciones, el hombre simple de mala leche.
¿Quizá no tan simple si habla tres idiomas y además es profesor?
Quizá no tan simple y bastante sensible, el hombre simple que quiero que me ame y no lo hace.
El hombre simple que hace pero no me hace el amor.
El hombre simple, no tan simple y sensible que ama, que ama a animales, que ama a no sé quién, que sí ama pero no sé de qué manera.
El hombre simple al que admiro, el hombre simplemente bonito, el hombre que es capaz de tratarme de manera poco gentil, de manera burra, ¿no?, animal, ¿no? Maltratar, ¿no?
El hombre simple que a mí me parece hombre, que me parece energía de padre, que se siente seguro en su trabajo y con su conocimiento.
Que yo busco esa seguridad y esa confianza en mí misma, que yo la quiero y le quiero. 

October the 26th, 2020.

24-10-20. POMEGRANATES, MEN AND SENSORY PROCESSING SENSITIVITY (click on each word for more info).

I saw it clearly today.

I had a pomegranate I took to my studio, it looked beyond beautiful, with its deep red colour indicating a top point of matureness and a smooth touch. At some point in the evening I went to my bag with snacks and saw it there and decided it was time to unravel the mystery: would it taste as good as it looks?

I decided to share my enthusiasm with Isabelle. She wasn’t that enthusiastic in the beginning. She just saw a fruit. I was seeing a lot more than that.

I began the ritual, I cut it in half and started hallucinating with its colour. A couple of drops of the juicy fruit fell dawn to the dish painting it as if it were watercolour that never dries away. I simply was overstimulated by the beauty of that intensity, I mean the colour. The ritual is easy, you sit down and patiently thresh the pomegranate slowly but surely, trying not to break any grain. I said: “This is porn”, and that is what I believe it was when I first opened it. I like eating things I find of enormous beauty, it’s a holistic experience.

Gently and thanks to my words and enthusiasm, Isabelle started to enjoy eating it as much as I did, she realised I was right, observing the simplest things with detail makes the common transform into something special. A fruit she has probably seen lots of times during her life now she will forever remember eating it with me with such deepness and emphasis. It turns out being a highly sensitive person is experiencing the regular in a much deeper level, it’s like everything is multiplied by ten or a hundred times.

I was describing the fruit and my experiencing eating it as detailed as I could, I said: "It's crunchy and juicy at the same time, sweet and sour, and those little explosions in your mouth that stimulate your taste buds!". I ended up realising that it looks like our internal cells, working together in groups, with separated membranes that you have to put apart if you want to get to the point if you know what I mean.

Experiencing things like this is wonderful. However, as above, so below - when I have a bad experience like someone treating me badly, I experience it ten times more intensely than people with less sensitivity.

I have a problem with a few men, I feel attracted and drawn to them, I still don’t know why. These men feel insecure when relating to me, I guess they find me too, I don’t know, intelligent? strong? direct? attractive? mysterious? I still don’t know. You name it. They feel insecure, and they treat me badly. I see it like they need to be dominant. I can’t defend myself because I don’t react instantly, it surprises me so much that I can't believe it and I get silent. I experience rejection and mistreatment and it takes time for me to deal with those emotions. I get furious, and normally I want revenge. Most of all because I couldn’t defend myself at the moment they were harsh to me and I get angry with myself because I couldn’t react as I wish I had. It's difficult to let go on those feelings, I take it personally.

Most of the times I get somehow attached to them because there is something unresolved. I used to be attached to them for years, now it takes only a few months until I can decide they’re just an unhealthy persona for me, and therefore not welcome in my life. It’s hard because I believe we can do better, humanity can do better in terms of relating to each other and being kind and comprehensive.

Probably I’m talking about men who do not consider women as their equal, probably I’m talking about men who need women to be underneath them or be their servants, I’m probably talking about men who have had issues with their mothers. No one’s perfect, we all have issues. However, we should be able to address those issues and communicate with care. Because we are all in this together. 

September the 29th, 2020.

"THREE QUESTIONS: HEART, MIND AND MATERIA". Interviews with contemporary artists.

I came across Raffael's work thanks to the wonderful #artistsupportpledge, an initiative instigated by Matthew Burrows on Instagram during the lockdown, in which artist offer their artwork for 200 EUR or less and they pledge to buy another artist work when they reach 1000 EUR. I believe it has worked out pretty well for many of us. 
Raffael caught my attention for his atypical landscapes as well as unusual colour palettes and lovely campfires. All of them give me a sense of warmth and peace I very much enjoy. 

The following questions were answered in summer.

1. EMOTIONS
- I’d like to know how are you feeling today? I want to encourage you to be as specific as you can. Just because we tent to say fine when that's not always what's really going on with us.
Then I’d like to know about the emotions you feel when you’re practising your art. Or any feelings you can relate to your exercise.

It’s summer, it’s Sunday and I’m lying in a hammock answering your questions. Yesterday I was in my studio working on some new paintings. So far quite fine.

In general, I have got the feeling to live in an odd future. I mean growing up in the 90s meant to me that the society was on the way to improve itself more or less. Maybe it was just my naive youthful vision of the future. Now it seems to me that social unfairness and the environmental crisis are still growing and it’s hard to see where that will lead to. The pandemic that spreads all over the world at the moment is something I have never experienced before. And it’s strange because it leads to harm and suffering and shows us that the system we are living in has to change. But for me, it was also a chance to focus on my artistic activities. So I’m painting a lot at the moment and that feels like doing the right thing.

2. MIND
I’d like to know why you are making art. This question is about the motivation behind your practice. 

As I’m a visual person my main focus is on the visual appearance of things, people, everything surrounding us materially. But if you look close enough you will be able to see even what is behind the visual surface. I always wanted to do something with my preference to design and to create. Earlier in my life, I used to work as a media designer, but that didn’t satisfy me and I realised that it’s quite important for me to create something without someone telling me how that has to look. I decided to study art and had to realise that studying art means studying myself. I wanted to get the most possible freedom of what I’m doing and then realised that freedom is something lying in myself. Besides the search for freedom, it is also a way to participate in society and be connected to the world.

3. MATERIAL/BODY
This third question is about your favourite materials, those you can’t do without. Could you share them with us?

Mainly the materials I’m working with are canvas, linen, paper, oil colour and watercolour, then brushes, of course. For oil painting, I use a painting medium that allows mixing the oil colour with water. I guess water is a very important element for my work. It takes part in the process and finally disappears. In a way, the water is like the artist, physically only present while working on a painting. The market for art supplies is constantly growing and it’s exciting trying some new stuff but in the end, I always come back to the basics, besides the medium for oil-water mixability of course.


Thanks for taking the time to give us more information about you.

You can check Raffael's website here. And his IG here.

May the 26th, 2020.

"THREE QUESTIONS: HEART, MIND AND MATERIA". Interviews with contemporary artists.

Marit from Amsterdam is a teacher and illustrator. I discovered her on IG and instantly fell in love with her artwork. She uses a meaningful language that I can relate to. And not only that, the way she resolves that what she wants to say has a beauty beyond words. I'm very happy to have her answered these questions.

1. EMOTIONS.
- I’d like to know how are you feeling today? I want to encourage you to be as specific as you can. Just because we tent to say fine when that's not always what's really going on with us.
Then I’d like to know about the emotions you feel when you’re practising your art. Or any feelings you can relate to your exercise.

I’ve been feeling very calm during the last couple of weeks. I’m taking this time to reflect on last year when I started to work (again) as a freelance illustrator and (for the first time) as an art teacher for elementary schools. During the Corona crisis, I realised it would be good to take some more time off sometimes. It’s in periods of stillness that I can reload my energy and be more open to new insights, ideas and inspiration. I’m in the process of starting two projects, sometimes I get stressed because I can be impatient and I want too much too soon!

When I’m drawing I feel connected to my natural (work)flow, it’s peaceful and meditative. Sometimes I try to make things that aren’t working out the way I want and I get frustrated. Mostly after some trial and error, I find a different form. I like these surprises when a drawing ends up different from how I thought it should look.

2. MIND.
I’d like to know why you are making art. This question is about the motivation behind your practice.

I was always drawing as a kid and it was relaxing and natural. I don’t really know why I draw. I’ve also had periods in my life when I didn’t make anything. But I always come back to it and it feels like a welcoming home. Art is a language I understand, it’s rich and deep and spiritual. It’s universal and also very personal. I’m not that much into art theories, but I’ve read one book that impressed me a lot. ‘Jung on art’ by Tjeu van den Berk, about the autonomy of the creative drive. How I remember it, C.G.Jung thinks of art as an autonomous energy that wants to express itself in the world of form. This autonomous energy ‘Art’ is looking for ways to express herself through artists and serendipity. I hope I’m describing it right, for the exact words, read the book! But after reading it, it left me with this poetic picture of Art floating around the world, always present like some kind of God, invisible yet subtly noticed by some. She looks for open channels to express herself into all sorts of forms.

3. MATERIA/BODY.
This third question is about your favourite materials, those you can’t do without. Could you share them with us?

I’ve been using my iPad and Apple Pencil a lot lately for sketching and drawing. Also, I just started to make short and simple animations. I used to really dislike digital techniques! It felt less authentic and too ‘easy’. But when I visited the David Hockney exhibition at Centre Pompidou in Paris I changed my mind. In the last hall, they showed his digital work and I was so surprised he made these amazing paintings on a tablet. So I got my own tablet and started experimenting. I can be a perfectionist which sometimes results in not drawing at all. When I have doubts about a drawing I like to work digitally because it’s playful and quick. In the future, I would like to learn more about natural pigments.
In general, my favourite materials are simple ones, paper and pen, iPad and pencil. Maybe some watercolours. I like to have quick ways to express my thoughts in images. It’s like writing in a diary.

Thanks a lot for this Marit!

Follow her on IG: https://www.instagram.com/studio.heartwork/

April the 24th, 2020.

"THREE QUESTIONS: HEART, MIND AND MATERIA". Interviews with contemporary artists.

Hi Juliette, it's very nice meeting you. First of all, I’d like to know how you are feeling today.

Hi Laura, first I'd like to thank you for making me part of this initiative. In these moments of confinement, I really appreciate sitting on my sofa thinking about art and engaging with others.

Feelings today are very mixed. The outcome and the appreciation of this period of general slowdown depend so much of each situation. I feel for the households which are missing space, people to help them, or in difficult situations with no loopholes. I am lucky to live with my friend in a very nice house. Starting there I cannot complain and can only feel happy with my situation.

Where it starts to be interesting for me it’s to look at my practice since I can’t go to the studio. Just before the confinement, I started a large body of work, I have laid out on a piece of a canvas of 2500mm x 2000mm hundreds of ceramics and started a large drawing on timber, as big as the floor piece. This was the beginning of a new work, which with the confinement had to be put on hold and sit quietly while I return.

Interestingly, this pause on the production combined with the execs of time that we have, have let the question "What is it?" expend, letting the energy coming out of the ceramic and watching them interact, becoming something else, breathing. This lapse of time has reminded me strongly how much what we generate and create require time to unfold his nature. Sometimes I lose this notion in the spin of the London life where everything goes fast and overwhelms you. In that sense, I would say that this general downturn has the beauty of reminding us to watch, to let things unravel what they want to say.

1. The first question is about the emotions you feel when you’re practising your art or any feelings you can relate to your exercise. Could you talk a little bit about this?

This moment of making is the action and the definition of creation. The creation doesn’t exist unless we do it unless we experience it. Pierre Bernard defines it very well in this book «Pourquoi créer?».
During each moment/action of creation, we are not pondering the next decision or reflecting on the last one, we are present. It is this strong sense of presentness, this awareness of consciousness which burst the feeling of freedom. That is the main feeling I can describe while creating. However, this feeling of bliss is surrounded by fears. Being present and therefore crossing the boundaries of the known is terrifying. That’s probably why the feeling of freedom is as enjoyable because it is beyond the known.


2. The following question is: why are you making art?

Following the above, making art is giving me a sense of presentness. This is one of my first leitmotivs. Secondly, art talks about the beyond. The beyond that requires deep observation of the world, a deep understanding of the elements that create it. Currently, I work around the notion of materiality, looking deeply into what surrounds us and how the materiality builds gradually what we define as our environment. Producing artwork talking about this notion allows me to open the door of understanding of the beyond to other people. I see my work as an invitation to others to experiment a notion that they may have not thought of, a door open to see our surroundings differently. An invitation to reflect.


3. This third and final question is about the favourite materials you use for your practice, something you can’t do without. Could you share those with us?

Throughout my years of working, I have been using a wide range of materials. From paper, paint, ceramic, pigment, colour pencils, oil pastels, etc. I have wandered in all this medium but one has always been the link between them: paper. I have a strong attraction for all sort of papers, all textures, colours, thicknesses. Since now two years I have been using sugar paper. The recycled texture, the off colours, and the lightness of the paper (not more than 100gm usually) allow me to have a stronger sense of freedom. It’s a second class material in a sense, not a 300gm Arches paper, it’s relatively cheap, therefore it allows me to be less self-aware about the end result but more open to mistakes, and we all know that great art has come from mistakes! haha!

Thank you! It's been a pleasure knowing a bit more about you. 


Juliette lives in London and is currently in residence at the Turps Studio Program. More info:

https://www.julietteezavin.com/
https://www.instagram.com/julietteezavin/

April the 18th, 2020.

"THE SOURCE", 2019 by Laura Basterra Sanz.

There is a source, the place where the "it" comes from, where it all starts. There is an impulse. Then there's a direction, a place to go to, and a certain openness. An openness to interact with other elements, an openness to experiment and to have experiences.

These elements will give a part of them, even if it's just a little part, and receive from others. As a result, there will be a creation of a new individual, unity or personality. However, they'll keep their essence, that won't change, that must not change. They'll never merge completely. They're interdependent—interdependency understood as the avoidance of individuality, dependency and codependency.

And finally, there will be certain elements which are unaware of those interactions. They will appear and disappear. They're outsiders though they do belong to the whole. They belong here, but other forces move them, maybe spiritual forces we don't recognise immediately.